"I'm going to keep coming back," he said.
Matt is a drug addict.
Since the age of 15 he has been in and out of government funded day programmes, rehabs and detoxes.
He's 35 now.
Sitting in a 12-step meeting of Cocaine Anonymous.
A place for alcoholics and drug addicts to get sober. They use a spiritual or moral programme of action.
He's just finished his "share"
He affirms he is an "addict." Then, he shares for a few minutes with the meeting. He talks about the lessons he learned from getting sober and his new life.
Drink and drug free.
This is a scene that has been repeated in my life thousands of times.
I've been going to 12 step meetings since I was 24 (I'm 38 now.)
And they have made me the man I am today.
A lesson to share today is the old adage...
Believe with your eyes not your ears
What this basically means is.... believe what people DO, not what they say they will do.
This morning, I remembered this saying when I walked past someone I dated for a little while.
Lovely woman, great spirit and a champion talker.
She had so many dreams, and ideas, she was intelligent and articulate.
But she struggled to get anything meaningful done.
Recently I heard a great aphorism ( noun
a concise remark that reveals a general truth.
"the old aphorism ‘the child is father to the man’")
Which rang true to me.
You can often tell how successful someone will be, by seeing how quickly it takes them to do the things that they said they would do
The woman I dated recently had spoken about starting a local cleaning business.
I supported her, designed leaflets for her, and even got them printed.
We stopped dating and when I saw her months later and asked whether she had given out the leaflets she replied dead pan.
"Oh no, I haven't had the time."
The cleaning business was her way out of a tough spot. Yet, she couldn't find the time to help herself.
She was too busy doing what I like to call "side quests"
Side quests are small, pointless tasks we do each day. They give a false sense of achievement. In reality, they are just distractions from the MAIN QUEST.
The big cahuna.
It did make me sad that when this woman saw me today, she completely ignored me and walked past.
Like I reminded her of another series of things she said she would do and never did.
In recovery I have seen this pattern repeated often.
People paying lip service to the programme's tenets.
Swearing they will follow it to their dying breath and then never coming back.
I sometimes wonder why they bother to say that at all?
Probably to fit in I guess, as they bow to peer pressure.
To want to look like a "cool and knowledgeable" member of the club.
For me this lesson has meant being open to listening, but truly understanding a person by what they do.
Because often, people lie to themselves.
Comentários